Floral Disputes
by DramaticStarlet
Summary: Oh Merlin, we're SCREWED. Happy Easter. JamesLily.


**-floral disputes-**

**james/lily.**

**By Katie**

**a/n: This is basically my lovely HP Easter fic. But I have another one, though. That I'm working on...**

**disclaimer: I own nothing that you recognize.**

I cannot believe that he actually WANTS to meet my parents. I know that my boyfriend maybe slightly crazy sometimes, but he must also be suicidal if he wants to meet MY horribly complicated family. Like my plethora of senial, batty aunts and uncles. And my gaggle of rude, obnoxious cousins.

"Are you sure your parents don't celebrate Easter? They might want you home for the spring holidays; if you hurry, you can catch the 4:00 train!" I smiled, hoping he'll have enough sense to go home.

"Don't be silly, if I go home, all I'll do all week is play Exploding Snap with Sirius or something equally pointless. I want to spend this week with you, Lily." James, my (completely sexy, gorgeous, etc.) boyfriend, laughs. His laugh rings in my ears, making me laugh too.

"But - " I am cut off by James ringing the doorbell. It's too late; he can't escape now. Oh, Merlin, we're _screwed._

"Lily, darling! We missed you so much, come in, come in! And this must be James, what a handsome young man! Ah, what a lovely couple you both make!" Mum opens the door, and squeals with delight. She nearly cuts off my air supply by hugging me so tightly. I swear, my face turns purple.

Mum is now hysterical with delight, James is making charming concersation (which makes Mum even more delighted), and I am simply trying not to burst into tears the thought of my father _talking _to James.

I feel a migraine coming on, don't you?

"Mum, please. You've met my other boyfriends." I sigh.

James flinches at the words "other boyfriends." I think he likes to pretend that I never dated anyone but him. It's sort of cute, but also sort of creepy.

"Yes, but...oh, never mind. Tuney's boyfriend is here, too. Pudgy young man...what is his name...oh, Vernon. Vernon Dursley." Mum says as we step into the house.

I look around and sigh, content. It smells like apple pie and my mum's perfume and my dad's cologne. The house is exactly how I remember it. Maybe a little cleaned up, but not much. Mum's never been one for house cleaning.

"Hello Tuney." I say in my best sugary-sweet voice as we pass my horrid sister. Petunia/Tuney acts like a baby, even though she is two years older than me.

"Hello Lily." she snaps. I wonder what sort of prat she's brought home this year. "Vernon" sounds like a chubby, boy version of herself.

James and my dad bump into each other in the hallway. Oh. My. God.

"I'm sorry, sir." James says.

"Not a problem. You must be James." Dad smiles, holding out his hand.

Good, good, Dad's decided that James is okay!

"Most days." James relaxes, throwing a little humor into the conversation.

"Ah, well! Please call me Benjamin. _Sir _sounds so formal." Dad laughs.

I nearly have a heart attack. My father on a first name basis?

"And call me Violet. We're so glad to finally meet you, James dear. Lily seems to like you very much, and we're so happy that she finally found someone that loves her as much as she loves you." Mum breaks in.

I think I'm blushing, but I don't care, because I'm just so happy that Mum and Dad finally LIKE one of my boyfriends.

And then I get a huge wake-up call.

"Lilerin! Lovey, you shot up like a weed at private school!" my Aunt Xinnia cries from atop the steps.

Aunt Xinnia is abouy 7,000 years old, has crazy white wisps of hair, and has called me "Lilerin" (even though my full name isLilian, not Lilerin) since before I can remember. She's completely lost her marbles to be frank.

"Lilerin?" James smirks slightly, the smirk that says "Lily, really."

"Hello Aunt Xinnia, we'll be...um, never mind. Mum, James and I are going to talk to Tuney and her boyfriend for a while, all right?" I pull James VERY far away from Aunt Xinnia and into the parlor.

Tuney's taste in boyfriends has never been very...conventional, so to speak.

She likes large, clumsy boys. Or maybe large, clumsy boys are the only boys like her. 

Her heavyset boyfriends look rather strange next to her stick-thin, toothpick figure. It's quiet strange.

"Hello, Tuney." I say in the same sugary voice.

"Hi, Lily. I see you brought home your latest fling." Petunia rolls her eyes.

I despise my sister. If I should ever die young, I swear I'll roll over in my grave if custody of my children goes to Petunia. 

"Ha, funny, you should be a comedienne or something." I grit my teeth, and try to smile at her boyfriend.

Doughy, too-small eyes, an ugly sneer permanently frozen on his face. I already dislike him.

"My name is James, and I assure you that I'm here to stay." James flashes a polite half-smile.

Petunia is jealous of my boyfriend, I can just see it in her eyes. 

"That's what Thomas and Mikhael and Alexandré all said." I hear Petunia mumble.

"You've yet to introduce me to _your _boyfriend, Tuney." I say through gritted teeth, trying not to start a huge catfight with Petunia.

"Vernon. This is Vernon." Petunia giggles a high, girlish giggle. Vernon grunts something of a hello.

Ugh. Aren't these two a sight.

"Do you play anything, Vernon? Sports, I mean. Quidditch?" James askes.

"Quidditch? What's that, a disease?" Vernon finally spats.

"NO! It's...um, a sport that they...play at our private school...very popular." I nervously laugh, slightly nudging James.

He must have forgotten that no one in my family (excluding Mum, Dad, and Tuney) know or any of my Muggle friends know that I go to Hogwarts. And Quidditch is only known in the wizarding world.

"..." Vernon blinks, laughs, incredulously, and then turns to Petunia, as if to dismiss James and I.

I've decided that Vernon will no longer be known as Vernon but as "The Lard," and that's it.

So there.

I've finally managed to escape the madness going on inside the house. After Cousin Dahlia (who is a rather famous opera singer) showed up, people stopped fawning over James and I. And now I can finally be alone for a little while.

I'm sitting under our apple tree, actually. The grass feels soft and lush beneath my fingers, and the sound of the wind rustling the tree leaves is so sweet and perfect. If it were my way, I would never have to leave my apple tree.

I just love April. The promise of new love, or laughter, or a new beginning always lingers in April.

Of course, in the midst of my peace and serenity, I hear a loud "FIRE!" in the kitchen, Petunia wail something about "Oh, Vernon!" and Mum say a string of words that Grandmum Evans probably would have smacked her for, if she were still alive.

I _know _it's bad when my entire family on the Evans side comes running out of the house and into my formerly quiet, peaceful backyard.

"Lily! Lily, Tuney's boyfriend just set the roast on fire! He turned the oven up to some ungodly temperature by accident and the meat burst into flames!" my Uncle Herman huffs and puffs, running towards me.

Uncle Herman is American. He lives somewhere in the United States, and flies back to England only on holidays. Herman has lived in American for so long that he now speaks with an American accent, no longer uses British slang terms, and has even started to call football "soccer." Uncle Herman is quite strange, also.

"Is he daft? Mum must be furious..." I sigh.

"I'd hate to see your mom right now!" Herman chuckles.

I sit under my apple tree, and pretend like it's still nice and quiet, but then I hear thunder roll, and well...

"Lily, I've been looking for you! I think we can go back inside, your dad got the fire put out." James pulls me up from my spot under the tree.

His hand is warm and soft, and when I look at him, my heart skips a beat, like it always does, when he holds my hand. But I'm still not quite used to the sensation.

"James, can we just run out into that field over there and-"

"Make sweet, sweet love into the wee house of the morning?" James smirks, his joking smirk.

"_Not _funny, _Potter_." I glare, even though I wish that's what we could do.

"Ah, well, we'll have it your way, _Evans_. For now." he grins suggestively.

"I – you – _arrogant toerag_."

"Oh Merlin, we're back to square one? Lily, love, I refuse to win you over a second time. Truce?"

"Truce." I giggle, and kiss his cheek gently.

"James, m'boy, I notice that your last name is Potter. Are you in any relation to Nevin Potter?" one of my uncles asks at dinner.

"No, I don't think so. I don't have any Muggle relatives." James shrugs.

James is having a difficult time grasping the fact that no one in my family knows what a "Muggle" is, nor do they have any opinions on the Chudley Cannons' Quidditch season, and no none of them have ever gotten completely wasted from a firewhiskey binge.

Anthough, it funny to watch him fumble around for excuses.

"Muggle?" my uncle furrows a brow.

"...Yes, um, Muggle...it's...a slang term...for..." James simply changes the subject very quickly to avoid any more discussion on what a Muggle is.

I giggle and he shoots me a look that says "Shut it or else I won't snog you silly tonight."

So I decide that it would be in my best interest to hold on tongue.

Figuratively speaking.

Honestly, why would one _want _to hold their tongue?

For some reason, I see that James is writing Sirius a very short letter.

Since he's not in the room...

It says some nonsense about being compared to a little lost hippogriff and something about my sister being an absolute horror, and also some stuff about my Aunt Xinnia winking at him, which was extremely painful - 

"Lily!"

"Ah!" I whirl around to face...who else but James, of course.

He gives me a suspicious glance, his hazel eyes keeping a careful watch on me as I try to smile innocently.

"Lilian. _What _are you doing with my letter to Sirius?"

"Well...well...oh, fine! I was reading it to see what you said about my family."

"Are you satisfied with what I wrote?" he crosses his arms indignantly.

I will not say anything snippy. I will not say anything snippy. I will not say anything snippy.

You see, James and I are able to get along and be a nice, sweet couple most of the time. However, we do have the tendency to lose our tempers or say slightly rude things to each other.

I can only hope that maybe, just maybe I'll be able to not say anything particularly rude to him and avoid a fight.

"I'm sorry." I grit my teeth together.

"Lily...you do realize I'm just pushing your buttons, right?" James smirks for the fifty millionth time.

Oh.

"...You're a prat, do you know that?"

"And you love it."

And then he smiles and wraps his arms around me from behind, kicking the bedroom door shut.

"James, I really should go help Mum with the dishes."

"She can wait, can't she?"

I can't argue with that logic.

I turn around and make sure that our lips are close together, but not close enough to tough.

"She can wait." I agree.

Our lips crash together, like we've never kissed before.

This must be what heaven is like.

I correct myself; this _is _heaven.

And then the moment is ruined when I hear the fire alarm go off and I hear Tuney scream "Vernon!" for the second time today.

I'm still levitating with delight from James' kiss.

But if Petunia's boyfriend interrupts us again, my relatives will find out what the Bat Bogey Hex is.

**(: I love LJ. I love Easter. Perfect combo!**

**Please review with more than "so cute" or "i loved it" or whatever, thanks! (: Happy Easter!**


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